River of Guidance Library
Love, Death, Grief, and Gratitude
with Murshida Leilah & Sheikh Bodhi Be
We invite you into the community heart to touch what is most important and moving in us through loving contemplation, practice, ritual, music and song. How can we show up with the courage, strength and heart these times are calling for? And how, at the same time, do we honor all the feelings that are emerging? Sharing our thoughts, feelings, curiosity and wisdom, we Practice Presence - diving deep together to become more familiar with returning to the center.
About Leilah and Bodhi
Leilah and Bodhi are teachers, guides and ministers in the Ruhaniat Sufi community and in the greater community. Married for 37 years, they have created an organic, off-the-grid homestead with some of their grown children and grandchildren on Maui, Hawaii.
Leilah leads community Sufi events and is a renowned leader of Zikr. When not caring for their garden or creating nourishing meals, she interacts with her grandchildren, animal companions, and her many students near and far.
Bodhi is the executive director of Doorway Into Light which operates Hawaii's only nonprofit and certified green funeral home, as well as a community storefront, The Death Store. A funeral director, end-of-life educator and grief counselor, he teaches courses worldwide in preparing for death, caring the dying and showing up for what's dying in the world.
Together they lead Sufi retreats worldwide.
Watch three-course video recordings at your own pace.
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Class ONE:
From Bodhi: Contemplation: Love and Grief: twin sisters
Homework: Upon rising in the morning, ask this question sincerely: IS THIS THE DAY I’M GOING TO DIE?
From Leilah: EQUANIMITY PRACTICE
Notice … be acutely aware of situations in which you close down, recoil, have aversion or attachment, lose your peace. Are off center, are not in your heart, have tension and react aggressively, defensively, or attempt to control others.
Examine what happened with kindness and compassion towards yourself… be curious, be sincerely interested in understanding more deeply the ways to create new habits of being.
Cultivate and nourish empathy and equanimity within yourself.
Be forgiving with yourself…
Be accountable to yourself.
Be truthful with yourself.
It is natural to have reactions and what a great feedback loop it is to understand what triggers us, and why. And how we can release, let go and return to the love, and tenderness.
As a spiritual virtue, upekkha means stability in the face of the fluctuations of worldly fortune. It is evenness of mind, unshakable freedom of mind, a state of inner equipoise that cannot be upset by gain and loss, honor and dishonor, praise and blame, pleasure and pain.
Pali: Upekkhā English: Equanimity
In Buddhism, equanimity (Pali: upekkhā; Sanskrit: upekṣā) is one of the four sublime attitudes and is considered: Neither a thought nor an emotion, it is rather the steady conscious realization of reality's transience. It is the ground for wisdom and freedom and the protector of compassion and love.
Equanimity allows us to stand in the midst of conflict or crisis in a way where we are balanced, grounded and centered. It allows us to remain upright in the face of the strong winds of conflict and crisis, such as: blame, failure, pain, or disrepute - the winds that set us up for suffering when they begin to blow.
Here are three ways to cultivate equanimity no matter what challenges you face.
Use the Buddha's teachings on suffering to help you "start where you are." ...
Regard the universal law of impermanence as a friend. ...
Be content to take baby steps in the direction of equanimity.
From KURT VONNEGUT:
“Be soft. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”
From TARA BRACH:
“Equanimity is a quality of presence that is open, balanced, and non-reactive. When equanimity is lacking, we become easily lost in trance… caught in aggression, defensiveness and controlling behaviors.
With equanimity we can allow life to be just as it is. We can ask, what’s happening right now?
Can I be with this?
From ECKHART TOLLE:
“Can I BE the SPACE for this?”
From LEILAH:
“Can I make space for this” “can I just let this BE?”
From PIR SHABDA:
“This is how it is right now.”
TONI BERNARD: How to cultivate Equanimity, regardless ... (article)
TARA BRACH: Equanimity, The Gifts of Non-Reactive Mindful Presence (talk, 51 min)
JOHN PAVLOVITZ: Some Days I Just Want To Leave This World (pdf download)
CHELAN HARKIN: Try Human (pdf download)
MARK NEMO - ADRIFT: Everything is Beautiful (pdf download)
CHELAN HARKIN: The Worst Thing (pdf download)
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LAURA WEAVER: Bearing Witness (pdf download)
MAYA SPECTOR: The Earth is Dying - (pdf download)
*Death and Dying, A Personal Look - (pdf download)
*A Pie Person - (pdf download)
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Dear friends,
During the final class in this profound series we took a real look at our relationship to the fact that we all will die and we don't know when. Accepting this fact as a heart felt reality rather than just an intellectual exercise will help us to leave this world with more peace, a good death. Letting go into the Mystery, rising in Love.
Thank you Leilah and Bodhi for sharing the time of your life with us all.
MARION WOODMAN: Finding Her Own Voice - (pdf download)
ELLEN BASS: If You Knew - (pdf download)
FIVE REGRETS - (pdf download)